The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
