Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
