his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
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we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
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Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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