i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
