just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
