I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You can't special order awesome
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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