she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
