Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize