She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
