I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize