Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
