Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
