I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
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you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
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Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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