What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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