where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
