Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
