There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
