We won't sleep together?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
well you can't waste a boner
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
