i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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