She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
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security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
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Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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