As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
