Say something about gay babies.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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