i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
