I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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