I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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