I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
