Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
