if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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