If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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