just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
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I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
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I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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