I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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