How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
