He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
