we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
