Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
