so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
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Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
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I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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