There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
