there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
false alarm. still invincible.
i will never coherently bang her
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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