You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
