i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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