morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
