Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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