So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
