I accidentally burped into my bong.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
