i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
