I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
