there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
