Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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