no, he came in my armpit
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
