If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
