I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
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i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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