If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
