How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
