i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
