Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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