Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
