I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize