I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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